i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
