Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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