okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
