Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just want to make out with him forever
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
