can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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