Sry I called you an 8
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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