Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
