he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
