I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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