Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
