Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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