don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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