Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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