Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
