She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
