Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(209): View more from California

yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.

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(541): View more from Oregon

No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.

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(416): View more from Toronto

Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea

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(949): View more from California

I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?

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(507): View more from Minnesota

You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.

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(231): View more from Michigan

He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.

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(731): View more from Tennessee

Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.

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