I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The air was thick with penises
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
