I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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