There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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