Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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