The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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