in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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