Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
She just used a chaser for red wine.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
porn star boner night. come get it.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
