my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
