no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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