you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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