I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize