Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
