I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
If I die, sorry about rent.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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