I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
