my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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