So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
