Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
