birth control should be required to get into college
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
