Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize