omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
