So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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