i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
