That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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