Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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