I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
