So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize