Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry redskin hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(516): View more from New York

She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.

Fav 3 1045 1028
share tweet
(757): View more from Virginia

I have demons in me.

Fav 12 1303 1803
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(734): View more from Michigan

You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.

Fav 34 4005 1552
share tweet
(407): View more from Florida

the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?

Fav 17 5976 1252
share tweet
(330): View more from Ohio

I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.

Fav 3 1045 640
share tweet
(310): View more from California

I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.

Fav 3 1372 764
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.

Fav 2 640 1042
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(207): View more from Maine

Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.

Fav 0 66 18
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(210): View more from Texas

I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine

(210): View more from Texas

I’m looking forward to few days of international relations

Fav 0 66 10
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT