It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
