the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
