Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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