So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize