We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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