Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
