so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
