The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
