I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize