i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
