i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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