fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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