# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
