it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
