Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
