and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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