I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
